“All of you will go to the polls: you’ll stand there in the polling place and make a decision. I think when you make that decision. it might be well if you would ask yourself, are you better off than you were 4 years ago? Is it easier for you to go and buy things in the stores than it was 4 years ago? Is there more or less unemployment in the country than there was 4 years ago?”
—Ronald Reagan, 1980
February 2011
3 posts
A Rabbit Year Greeting Gone Berserk
- A: huat ah!
- B: few more hrs!
- A: tio toto, tio 4D
- B: yeah man! good luck coming!!
- A: carrot is coming too!
- B: hahaha, then after erection, your carrot will get CHOP ah
- A: then after chop your carrot, they will skin you like a rabbit!
- A: and leave you in the cold for winter without your fur?!
- B: then they will import other rabbits from overseas to replace the skinned rabbits
- B: those rabbits have special talents, like working very hard for less carrot
- A: ohhh… those are not exactly rabbits but small rodents, which can eat less and run fast on the wheels!
- B: and they don't ask for more carrots!
- B: and in due time, carrots will be taxed at 10%, transporting of carrots will be charged every 50 meters, and chopping of carrots will also require a levy
- B: unlike the native rabbits who demand larger cages at the same low price
- A: well, it's so stressful in the farm that the rabbits doesn't fuck like a rabbit and make rabbits like before so they import hornier rabbits from other lands
- B: then the imported rabbits eat more local carrots, causing the price of carrots to go up
- B: the native male rabbits have to live in a special cage for 2 years, while the imported horny rabbits can do whatever they want in the farm
- B: then the native rabbits are told to buy special kind of carrot called "house carrots" because they are actually the same thing but cost less
- A: the farm owners are happy skinning all those rabbits
- B: and once the native rabbits are all skinned, the imported rabbits will be next
- A: and native rabbits are asked to eat frozen carrots, because it is the same after defrosting and at the same price as fresh carrots
- B: and 35% of the frozen carrots will be chopped before they are allowed to be sold
- A: some native rabbits had moved on to greener farms
- B: and they enjoy fresh carrots at much lower prices, and less imported rabbits to snatch their carrots away from them
- B: the rabbits also have a much larger cage to poop in
- A: while the native rabbits in the original farm had to endure all the poops from both imported and native rabbits
- A: and sometimes the weather gets bad, drains are choked and it floods. help, rabbits can't swim. they will drown!!
- B: and the farm owners will calmly say that such things happen only every 50 years, and the rabbits should not worry
- A: no amount of farm improvement can ensure there is no flooding, but whenever it does, the rabbits will drown
- B: yes, the rabbits expect too much but all they really want are bigger carrots
- B: it turns out most of the chopped carrots are stored in this refrigerator that belong to the farm owners
- A: all the masters want is MORE RABBITS in the same area for farming
- B: yes, so that they can chop more carrots monthly and place the 35% of each chopped carrot from each rabbit into the fridge
- B: the carrots in the refrigerator are then loaned off to other farms. the other farms are thankful and return even more carrots than was loaned. the farm owners buy more refrigerators.
- A: and the fridge is guarded by a friendly nepalese rabbits imported by the farm owners.
- B: these are fierce and loyal rabbits
- A: the farm owners will let all their friends open the fridge
- B: the only thing about nepalese rabbits are that they cannot watch the cage properly and sometimes other naughty rabbits that are supposed to be locked up escape
- B: turns out some naughty rabbits can escape the farm's high security fences and somehow manage to swim across the pond to other farms!
- A: i heard these nepalese rabbits are so fearsome, they can even guard the owner's gates. shame on the native rabbits.
- B: of course. the farm owners don't really trust the native rabbits to behave themselves, especially those from the farm up north which are regarded as separate breeds
- A: that's why masters don't even trust native rabbits, they only use imported nepalese rabbits for their own security
- B: yes, but there are a group of specially trained native blue rabbits who will ensure the other normal rabbits obey the farm owners
- B: and also another group of special native rabbits with a special head of white hair that will sentence normal rabbits to death, if they nibble illegally on forbidden fruits
- A: those blue rabbits lived among the rabbits, but are programmed to do the owners' bidding, in case some rabbits become noti or horny and start to fuck like a rabbit and reproduce like a rabbit again!
- B: and some horny rabbits even take off their fur in front of the place where they serve carrots very quickly. they even piss and shit there!
- A: i hope there is less noti rabbits, more variety of carrots in 2011 in the year of the rabbit.
- B: yes, let all the rabbits pray and wish for a better 2011. the year of the rabbit!
- A: happy rabbit yr, hope everyone fucks like a rabbit.
- A: and makes more baby rabbits, so that we won't have to import so that there will be less imported rabbits.
- B: so we shall wish for cheaper carrots, cheaper cages and more native rabbits. gong xi fa cai!
“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.”
—John F. Kennedy, 1962
